As you officially become a mother, multiple changes will happen. Some gradually and some right away. While most focus on everything to do with the baby and your body, it all revolves around your new baby. But one thing they seem to not talk about enough is a decline in sexual drive.
I mean, it is obvious for the first four to six weeks your body needs to heal and all that but I am referring beyond that time. About what happens to our bodies and our minds. In particular, how biology ties into the sexual drive decline postpartum.
To put it simply our body is not biologically ready for sex.
Remember every woman is different and everybody reacts differently to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum healing.
Postpartum Sex After Baby
Intercourse may not be as pleasurable as before and in some instances, it may be painful.
According to Medical News Today on an article about vaginal tightness by Jenna Fletcher, “The vagina undergoes many changes during a woman’s lifetime. The following occurrences directly impact the vagina:
- hormonal-related changes
- childbirth and breastfeeding
These are all active ‘occurrences’ postpartum, we all go through them at one time or another after having a baby.
A Woman’s Body & Mind: Postpartum Intimacy
While you may feel the lack of intimacy after baby or as if you’re living in a sexless marriage after the baby. This is all normal and WE all probably went through it.
Our mind is constantly worried about our child, I remember trying to be intimate with my partner and all I could think about was my daughter. Was she breathing? Was she cold? Maybe she will miss me?
All these thoughts raced through my mind, I was so in my head about everything. It almost felt impossible to get aroused or ‘in’ the moment. It truly was a difficult time.
Trying to be a wife and a mother and my body fighting me the whole way. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it, I did but I was also worried about my daughter.
In some instances, I found myself not wanting to be touched. Maybe you have heard about that phrase ” touched out”? What it means is when we have been overly touched and grabbed and needed, it makes our skin crawl to be touched again.
It may sound odd, but let me tell you. It is so real and the feeling is almost overwhelming in intensity.
This happens now more than before because my daughter is a toddler and very handsy with me. But when she was younger, there were times where I was ‘touched out’ and breastfeeding would drain me.
So much so, that being intimate with my partner wasn’t even a thought.
Breastfeeding & Sex
According to Healthline Parenthood, “Results from a 2005 study found that women who were breastfeeding were more likely to delay resuming intercourse following the birth of their child than women who didn’t breastfeed.”
Therefore, if you are breastfeeding, your sex drive will decline.
Hormones & Sex
As with many things, hormones affect many of our body’s functions. One, in particular, is sex drive; after giving birth both estrogen (sex hormone) decreases abruptly. While prolactin (milk-making hormone) and oxytocin (love hormone) rise just as fast.
All this results in a decline in our sexual drive, our bodies are more worries about nursing, nurturing, and bonding with our brand new baby.
But in some cases, the opposite can happen, and sexual drive increases.
That’s the human body for you, much makes sense and something nothing does.
Please know that this is normal after giving birth. This time is new and short. Make the most of this time and be the best you can be.
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